Pam,
My mom and dad don't really like my ILs but they wouldn't ever do anything to "show" that, so to speak. They don't have anything in common and my ILs used to pressure them at every turn to spend holidays with their clan instead of my parents being able to do their traditions, too. It annoyed them, but they always politely declined- except one Christmas they actually showed up (only for me, because I asked them to) for awhile. They aren't friends, could never be friends, and don't really talk- even before the fallout between DH and me & the ILs. At this point though, my mom knows a lot of what my ILs have done to my DH and to me and she will make comments to me about them if they come up, but she would never ever seek them out or call them up to tell them what she thinks about them. She has asked before if she would be allowed to tell them what she really thought of their behavior SHOULD they call her up to talk to her about our situation (this was only a hypothetical because my GMIL did contact my Dad when DH first stopped contacting them, so it could happen- they like stirring up stuff) and my DH said YES, GO FOR IT! But that's a major "if" because I don't think they'd have the guts to call my mom. They think she is just like me, which basically means the devil, and that's why they sidestepped her last time and contacted my Dad.
ANYWAY, if things were different and we were still in touch with my ILs, and something came up where they all had to be together, I'm sure my parents would handle it gracefully. They were great at the wedding- very kind and civil, they were the ones who initiated conversation with my ILs (who kept to themselves the whole time), my mom was great at my bridal shower with them, and my family was great around them at a cocktail party my family hosted. So, they have no problem playing nice because they are just polite, kind people. But they have never really "liked" the ILs.
