DS called on Sunday afternoon. We spoke for almost an hour. The big change I see is that he is more relaxed about the non-relationship between us and DIL, and he is more relaxed talking about his trips with his very, very rich in-laws. DIL’s mother is dripping in money. She flies around in private jets and sends them to pick up her relatives and drop them off at her vacation homes to keep her company. DS and DIL do this at least twice a year. DS used to keep these trips secret. But I know there has been a full fathom five sea change in him lately, because he told me about the last trip before it happened, and talked about the plane today.
Ladies, I am absolutely sure this is all happening because of you. Thanks to you I have stopped crying about the fact that DIL doesn’t like us and won’t accept us in her home. Thanks to you I have stopped sending her gifts, cards and email messages trying to make things better. Thanks to you I have accepted the possibility that I may never ever see her again. (This actually makes me glad now. Boundaries! --- as the DILs here continually emphasize.) Thanks to you I know that I should never ask DS about DIL – and so I don’t.
I am completely satisfied because my relationship with DS is alive and well. He calls occasionally. And he tries to slip in a day or two a year to see us as he is flying around the country on business trips.