Thanks to you

[seasage]

That's the wonderful thing about being a member of this site.  We have help in deciding when we are at fault, and when it is something we can't fix.  In this case, I think YDD is really angry at her boyfriend, not me.  He has effectively told her (without saying it in so many words) that he doesn't want a longterm relationship with her.  She is not the one.  That always hurts.  And as she gets older, I see that I can't fix it anymore.  I can't even dry her tears in the way I used to.  This one is a serious blow to her. 

I remember the time (though not the year) when I knew that she was all-grown-up and that I could trust her with all her own decisions.  It was then time for hands off.  It was easy for me to withdraw and be proud of the young woman she had become. 

Now I see that I am losing my place as her comfort pillow.  There will be fewer and fewer tearful phone calls home.  There were no tears this time.  She was just asking for help in accepting and dealing with the disappointment.  I am thankful that she asked. 

[seasage]

And the only reason I can become so philosophical about it is I have friends here to talk to.  Thank you everyone for being here!

[Pen]

Isn't it wonderful? I love how we can share the good, the bad, our faults and our successes as we progress. This aging thing is interesting, and I'm grateful for the company as I sort out being a MIL & the mom of grown ups.

Seasage, we'll gladly take credit for your philosophical awakening, but I have a feeling you had that covered all along.

[Tara]

Seasage,

Sorry, this is so stressful,  isn't it.

I'm learning so much from taking josh colemans tele seminars,  we've had 4 so far.  One of the things he said last night
which wasn't exactly relevant to you was NEVER to criticize DD or DS's wife or husband.  To be very cautious about this.
but he also said even when our kids are trying to extract themselves from their partners  to be very careful as our kids may be listening to see if we are commenting on their judgement re:  partners.  It seems like we have to always be on alert in this day and age...

We are here for you.

Love and Blessings, Tara

[Hope]

Seasage,
So sorry you are hurting.  Your ydd is probably so devastated she doesn't even realize what she is doing to you.  We care about you and will help you through your pain.  Just keep sharing - we are here for you!
Hugs, Hope

[holliberri]

Seasage,

I hope she gets past this, for her sake as well as yours. It sounds like since she can't take it out on the boyfriend in question, she had to take it out on someone. You're right to not respond to the e-mail.

[seasage]

One of the things he said last night which wasn't exactly relevant to you was NEVER to criticize DD or DS's wife or husband.

Also, don't even breathe a word about BF or OMF*.  All I said was 'perhaps OMF talked to BF'.  Next time I will not mention anyone except YDD in my email exchanges.

*other male friend

[Tara]

This walking on eggs gets old

[Tara]

oops I mean egg shells

[Barbie]

Seasage,
I'm so sorry. "Don't get too complacent" is right. It's so hard when our children become adults, who would have thought we would be going through all of this. Hang in there.
               (((Hugs)))

[Nana]

Seasage.   Remember....they are our children...we love them, but God...they can be so difficult.  Just hang in there...this too will pass.
Walking on egg shells....things do change huh....but they will experience this too someday with their own children hi hi

.Love