Hey Glitter. I'm like you, I don't think their is a wrong or right answer, just personal beliefs, but here goes my beliefs on these.
Does anyone feel like this lately? (Maybe it's just me and my preggo hormones--please tell me if it is.)
Nothing is sacred for parents anymore!!! Somehow, in every aspect of parenting, grandparents have weaseled their way in, and it's like we have to fight for our parenting rights. Then, we're looked at as being "spoiled" and "meeeean" or "selfish". I'm so tired of it. (these are things I have heard over the past year or so)....I think every situation is different. I think there are GP that are over-bearing and too involved. I also think there are parents that don't include GP in anything and leave the GP feeling like they are not important. Every situation and story is different.
The birth? Oh no, grandparents feel they should be there--after all, it IS their first grandchild!Yes, I want to be at all my GC births. Not to be intrusive, but because I am also excited and proud. But I am happy to sit in the waiting room until my Sons and their Wives come out later and say, "Come meet your GC".
Feeding the baby? Even if you BF, GPs think you should pump so they can bond that way too, with the child.I think feeding a baby is just such a precious moment that I love to do it. Even my friend's babies. Something innocent and sweet about feeding a baby. But only after DIL and DS have had their time doing it for while. But I would in no way ask my DIL to pump so I could do it. If they are BF, then I am fine with not feeding the baby at all.
Announcing the baby? How many times have we read about posts on FB, or sending out X-mas cards, or birth announcements? I'm a little unclear on this one. If you mean sending "Official" announcements in lieu of letting the parents do it? Then NO WAY. They should have that honor. But if you mean telling people that my GC is here and healthy, and I'm all excited, well yes.
Showers? Please---GPs showers are growing in popularity, and they make me sick (yes, MIL had one).I don't get this one. I would never expect or want a GP shower.
Choosing the name? Again, we hear time and time again about GPs who feel they have the right to either pick the name themselves, or comment on the ones we've picked.I would never expect or want to pick out the babies names. That's a parent's decision. Make a comment? Well, yes I am guilty of that. But that's because my Son commented that if they ever had a child and it was a boy, he wanted to name him after his favorite movie character from Gladiator....Maximus Desimus. I believe I commented that he really needed to think about that one because kids could be cruel in school with unusual names. That was the extent.
Mother's Day? Not only do we have to share these days, but now there is also GP's day, and even the lovely MIL's day. Ugh. Seriously?I am not sure exactly what is meant by "share this" day. If it means because you are now a Mother, you think the GM should not be honored also as a Mother on the same day, ummm...can't agree. Yes, it is your day now to be honored, but we are also Mothers too. As far as the rest of the days, I don't have an issue with them, but don't celebrate all of them. We also have Boss's Day, Administrative Assistant Day, Teacher's Day and Dispatcher Days and I celebrate those with co-workers and sent gifts to teachers years ago. Not sure what the big deal about this one is.
So, again, I ask---what is sacred? To me these all are, and the parents are slowly being pushed out. I really hope our generation realizes this, and backs off so that our children can be parents rather than having to fight US for the position.I agree that if you have over-bearing GPs, they need to back off and let the parents be the parents. But I think our children need to also remember to include the GPs every once in a while. Again, I think every situation is unique and we have to be careful not to generalize or stereotype. I think on this forum, we have it going both ways.