I appreciate you conciliatory approach. And yes, a future where we jointly enjoyed our great kids together when possible would be my goal. I myself had a MIL that did not want this type of approach, but my own sister and my dearest friend both have IL situations that are nurturing, mutually supportive, encouraging and friendly....FOO-FOO. As a matter of fact, my BIL has spent countless days with my parents during their illness, single handedly spending time with my Dad while Mom had surgery, taking my Mom to the hospital when both my sister and I were unable to do so and so forth. So yes, yes, I have seen and envy those types of great IL relationships. That is why, when planning DD's June wedding, I made many friendly overtures to DD's FMIL. I included FMIL and FFIL names on the wedding invitation (with MIL's approval) even though they did not (nor did we expect) them to participate financially, I contacted her no less than three times to get the list of those she wanted invited from SIL's family/friends before she saw fit to provide the information (this was most stressful when trying to plan), sent Christmas card and token Christmas gift with DD when they went for visit last year all without acknowledgement and continued to make other subtle attempts to be friendly through the process without pushing a strong relationship that she may not be interested in having. Through the process I found that this was a woman who one evening when DD and SIL were there for a visit, went to her room and closed the door for the evening when she found that DD and SIL had a breakfast get together planned the next morning with SIL's paternal grandparents. She threw a huge fit I guess because they had not sought prior approval and as a result they did not meet GM and GF for breakfast. When preparing the seating chart for the wedding, DD was told that MIL did not wish to be seated with these grandparents nor did she want her own mother or sister at her table. DD and I didn't know who in the world we could seat at her table that she would like. Even though we thought it was a slight to SIL's grands we ended up seating SIL's pastor/wife along with FIL's hunting buddy's family at her table. Very strange but she was totally pleased. Anyway, wedding and reception were lovely , no problems. All guests seemed to enjoy fully but not one word after the event from MIL. One day about two months after the wedding, while on FB I said HI on chat and she immediately had to go fix lunch. Also sent her a link to access all wedding pictures without charge and never heard one word from her. The one thing I can say and that my daughter says is that outwardly, MIL has always been kind to DD. I, however, do not find her lastest manipulation with regard to Christmas travel to be in best interest of DD at all. Anyway, that's what this is all about. I don't really think MIL would buy any reference to us spending Thanksgiving together in IL bliss. That train has left the station.