Thanksgiving

[barelythere]

OMG, it's here again.    I have discovered that I really don't enjoy spending time with my grown kids yet I feel if I don't get to spend Thanksgiving with them, I will die.

I wish it wasn't this way.  I would have loved for it to be a lively bunch of people, my crazy brother and his grown kids..just a ball (to me).   Not to my DIL.  They are beneath her socially so they are a no go.  (these people miss out on the most fun people!) 

So, this year, it's just us.  One son and DIL got the chance of a lifetime to go somewhere that they have turned down for years so this year they are going.  It's just going to be us and our extremely full of themselves son and DIL and kids.

First, I asked her about Thanksgiving.  She said, "we might be going somewhere".  Then, she backtracked and said they'd have some little something at their mansion.  What do you think we should do?  If we don't go, no telling what will happen.  It will set a precedent to last for years.  If we do go, we will be miserable.

What to do for Thanksgiving??  Thoughts?  Really in a pickle.

[Pen]

Go some place fabulous! I wish we could, but DDD wouldn't have a Thanksgiving if we did, so we stay around for her. I understand your concerns about the precedent being set, but really - you deserve to be happy.

[luise.volta]

I feel stupid but I got lost.  DS and DIL are going away and DS and DIL have invited you to their mansion? Two DSs  and two DILs?

Regarding saying yes, going and paying the price short term...or saying no, not going and paying the price long term...choose one. If you don't go...why not book a Great Thanksgiving Getaway for yourselves someplace exotic and become the eccentric oldsters? (I'm one and it can be fun!)

[1Glitterati]

What about inviting over some people you DO enjoy spending time with and having Turkey Day with them?

[barelythere]

What about inviting over some people you DO enjoy spending time with and having Turkey Day with them?

Oh gosh, what ever will I tell people?  I know EVERYONE I see will ask me, "what are you going to do for Thanksgiving?"  They will all be having their families over and I will be horribly embarrassed. I'm the only one I know with these people. It's a thought, though.  Really, thank you.

[erma]

oh BT, i so understand what you mean. we are no longer comfortable around dil and ds. they are too "uppity" for us these days.  we are a silly bunch, and she (dil) couldn't possible join in such humor!! 
this year, for thanksgiving anyway, they have plans with her foo. ( for the 6th year in a row) so i invited some dear friends who have no where to go, they jumped at the invite, and we always have a wonderful visit, and the best part is, no walking on eggshells!! 
this year, we made our own plans and THEN invited the children. the invites already went out, and i had no choice but to go through with them. i will admit, i was relieved they had other plans. but i don't know if it was out of fear of rejection? or fear of yet another disappointment??
nope, this year we are going to have a good time. 
when i stop and think about it really, its the fantasy that i will miss. i had projected holidays, birthdays, football games, summers at the lake, all these dreams i thought would happen one day. GONE!  i will miss my fantasy, because in all reality they are not comfortable to be around. rude and unpleasant.
so bt, i know the feeling of dying in the inside, but what really is going to change them in one day? it would in my situation need to be a Hugh miracle of godly propotions!!

hugs

[barelythere]

oh BT, i so understand what you mean. we are no longer comfortable around dil and ds. they are too "uppity" for us these days.  we are a silly bunch, and she (dil) couldn't possible join in such humor!! 
this year, for thanksgiving anyway, they have plans with her foo. ( for the 6th year in a row) so i invited some dear friends who have no where to go, they jumped at the invite, and we always have a wonderful visit, and the best part is, no walking on eggshells!! 
this year, we made our own plans and THEN invited the children. the invites already went out, and i had no choice but to go through with them. i will admit, i was relieved they had other plans. but i don't know if it was out of fear of rejection? or fear of yet another disappointment??
nope, this year we are going to have a good time. 
when i stop and think about it really, its the fantasy that i will miss. i had projected holidays, birthdays, football games, summers at the lake, all these dreams i thought would happen one day. GONE!  i will miss my fantasy, because in all reality they are not comfortable to be around. rude and unpleasant.
so bt, i know the feeling of dying in the inside, but what really is going to change them in one day? it would in my situation need to be a Hugh miracle of godly propotions!!

hugs

Well, Erma, we have the exact same situation, it seems.  Just eggshells and no lollipops.  Even the precious GD who I loved with my whole heart is off in the society stuff.  Just heartbreaking.  She's very sweet but has her eye on who is who.  We used to be "somebody" but we're getting older now and the "somebodies" are younger.

I'm really considering either going to see my brother and maybe asking them to go...(they will die before doing it) and really enjoying ourselves for the first year in many, many years. 

[erma]

yes BT! thats the way i would go! but i would get my tickets first then call the kids. then i couldnt back out.   

[barelythere]

yes BT! thats the way i would go! but i would get my tickets first then call the kids. then i couldnt back out.   

Hugs to you, Erma....we'll make it. You watch!
Won't we?

[luise.volta]

You are winners! Yes!

[jomama]

BT-
Do you know some people who don't have family nearby?  Every year, my bestest SIL does the Turkey Day shingdig for the family.  The following Saturday I cook a bird with all the fixings plus a dozen pies and cakes. We invite everyone we know who didn't get to visit their family for Thanksgiving or had to work and missed all the fun. And they bring ones they know. Whatever deputies are on duty stop by & pick up a plate to go, and sneak back for dessert.   Quite a few are dads and their parents; it's 'his weekend'.  We have a great time! 

[LaurieS]

Yes take Luise's suggestion and go to some erotic place

[Barbie]

Barely,

The holidays are so hard. I asked DS a couple of weeks ago if he knew what day they were coming and of course he said he didn't know. They've always spent Thanksgiving with us, our family makes a bigger deal of it than DIL's FOO but I have a feeling this year will be different, DIL has made it very clear that she wants nothing to do with us so who knows and DS will  probably make us wait until the last minute to tell us, but we've decided we're not going to let them ruin our plans.

If it's just you and hubby you definetely should go somewhere. DH and I are learning to have fun without the kids and are actually enjoying our alone time. We'll get through it my friend.

                                                                     Hugs.

[luise.volta]

Boy, you had me there for a minute, Laurie. I had to recheck my post!!!! 

[barelythere]

Barely,

The holidays are so hard. I asked DS a couple of weeks ago if he knew what day they were coming and of course he said he didn't know. They've always spent Thanksgiving with us, our family makes a bigger deal of it than DIL's FOO but I have a feeling this year will be different, DIL has made it very clear that she wants nothing to do with us so who knows and DS will  probably make us wait until the last minute to tell us, but we've decided we're not going to let them ruin our plans.

If it's just you and hubby you definetely should go somewhere. DH and I are learning to have fun without the kids and are actually enjoying our alone time. We'll get through it my friend.

                                                                     Hugs.

Thank you, Barbie. You never know what they will do.  Now DIL says they are going to be here for Thanksgiving.  This was after I said, "just let me know so we can make our plans".  She seemed to not like that we were going to have plans.  Well, good.

Laurie, you mean erotic like a nudest camp or something?  What would I do? try to tie my large tater tots in a knot with my hair?  My hair is not long enough to tie them up.