Tona, I so feel for you. What you express is very much the way I feel, too. I have two daughters and one is good to me. I know she loves me. The other, I'm afraid, is like her father. I agree with what Pen said about inherited characteristics. Sometimes nurture is just not enough to overcome the genes. With my DD, I see that the other half of the gene pool is very, very important. I could divorce her Dad, but I had no idea that I'd have to relive this pain again with my own daughter. Elsewhere, I mentioned a personality disorder and I do believe that is what she inherited from him. In this case, it's anti-social personality disorder. Of course, those afflicted never go for help because, after all, there is nothing wrong with *them,* only with other people. Of course, she makes her choices, and I decided that I will no longer make excuses for her or make up a story in my head about her to excuse her. That really would be insulting because it would be denying that she is an adult and she is responsible for everything she does and says, just like everyone else is, including me. I can also relate to everything Somom says ... there is such wisdom and comfort here. It helps to know that we are not the only ones and that our pain is not because we did anything wrong or were unworthy of being loved by those who should love us most of all.